Feelings I never knew I had.....

Besides missing my home I miss the ability to speak with people. Even though many Swiss, and Europeans for that fact, speak English it is different living in a foreign country. I want so badly just to be able to speak with anyone I want. It takes so much effort to listen and speak German. First, I have to hear very clearly what people are saying. They must speak slowly. And after I hear what they say I have to try to remember what they say so I can try to translate it in my head. Imagine trying to go through this process for every sentence that you speak in a day. It is tiring. But I know it is the only way I will learn. 

I did not know how much of an extrovert I was until this week. I spent most of my first week in the house. I was learning how to clean, cook and other household chores. I learned very much this week and was excited to make my first kuchen (cake) which is very famous for Swiss Mennonites. But at the same time I felt that I was missing something. During the middle of the week I was so frustrated with what I was feeling that I wept. I was talking with my mother at the time and she asked me to explain my emotions. I couldn't. I tried so hard to figure it out. It was not until the next day that I realized what was wrong. Margaret and I had to go to the grocery store to pick up food for the party this weekend. Once we arrived at the grocery store I had new energy. I was so excited to see people even though I did not know them. It was exciting just to watch their actions and see how they differed then what I normally would see. I loved it. That's when I knew that my problem was that I was not getting enough social interaction. Margaret is a great person to connect with, has much humor and I even feel like she a mother to me. But at the same time I enjoy being and conversing with other people. 

Today the Eschbach's had a combined birthday party for Andi and Margaret. They invited their friends over for the celebration. At first I was timid to speak with people because I knew that my German is only par. But once I initiated a conversation people were willing to talk. With one woman I was able to speak English to her and she was able to speak German to me. We both understood each other. I feel rejuvenated by this experience and even though I miss being able to speak English with people I enjoy the ability to converse with people who sometimes do not understand me.